Shootin The Gift

EP 3: We Love the 80's And YOU TOO!

KillaCal: *taps microphone*....*makes feedback*
O.com: hey hey hey... welcome to another installment of shooting the gift. i am volume one of what is to be your co-host thru this joint venture.... and volume two over here is the prince of hypness himself......
KillaCal: YES INDEED....on the brink of insanity and from the border of loco is the Killa Himself
KillaCal: also known as Johnny Polo the Second
O.com: LOL!!! hell naw...
O.com: what was that shit you called me the other day?
KillaCal: Ummmm....I forgot already....Hambone Johnson or something
O.com: it was like... catfish brown or someshit... that shit had me fuckin rollin
KillaCal: YES...that was it..Catfish Brown indeed
O.com: LOL!! gutty material...
KillaCal: Anyway folks, Catfish and I have a good show lined up
O.com: Solid!
KillaCal: what's on the plate? (LOL...)
O.com: Today on STG we are gonna discuss the greatest movie mad since The Last Dragon and Bad Boys 2... KILL BILL!!!
O.com: a review of the spectacular new release from Outkast, Speakerboxx/The Love Below
O.com: and I Love the 80's Strike Back!! lol that shit there is great i promise!
KillaCal: See, told you we had alot lined up!
KillaCal: let's get to it...
KillaCal: So....Kill Bill...what was your first thought when the credits came up at the end?
O.com: oh i was expecting it... i saw that shit coming to a head... i already knew it was two volumes... i wasnt mad at all... sylvia was PISSED... she was ready to sit thru another two hours of cinimatic greatness
KillaCal: Yeah I knew what to expect too...my mind was blown!!
KillaCal: every element of filmmaking was satisfied by that movie!
O.com: during the intro credits tho... i was going NUTS!!!! it was all old n shit like the kung fu movies used to be!
KillaCal: RIGHT!!....Tarantino is probably the only person into kung fu more than you
O.com: lol hell yea... because i didnt catch a couple of references that i KNEW i was missing!
O.com: i caught alot of em tho....
KillaCal: there was a reference or nod to something in just about every frame....it was a very fulfilling experience for a pop culture junky like myself
KillaCal: like the jumpsuit from Game of Death!
KillaCal: and also Tekken 3!
O.com: like... the 5 deadly venoms, duel of the iron fist, and one of the greatest kung fu movies never seen... the SHOGUNS ASSASSIN!!!
O.com: hell yea nigga that jump suit had me going nuts!!!!
O.com: i didnt catch the tekken 3 refernces?!
KillaCal: Ole boy Law had an alternate uniform with the Game of Death jumpsuit
O.com: oh yea yea yea... speaking of which... i will WHOOP ANYBODYS ASS in tekken...
O.com: tekken 3... tag... or 4!!!
O.com: im the champ nigga!
KillaCal: LOL...and I'M the hypemaster????
O.com: lol fuck that nigga... no hype... all truth!!!
KillaCal: So do you think it's safe to say that people will be lined up around the corner for part 2 in February
O.com: lol nigga... i dont know... i dont think alot of people really could apperciate this movie for its greatness
O.com: i think they say they like it just because everybody else does....
KillaCal: maybe....I think the second is gonna be a HUGE event
KillaCal: and I think the subsequent DVD is gonna be a MUST own
O.com: oh hell yea!
KillaCal: well..
O.com: ill beat a nigga ass at walmart for the last one!
O.com: kick his ass striaght in the chin lol
KillaCal: I hope someone has one of those DVD recorders as it's happening
O.com: lol you know?
KillaCal: well, let's talk about another MUST own

KillaCal: Outkast
O.com: lol right!
KillaCal: Speakerboxxx/The Love Below
O.com: imma be honest....
O.com: at first listen...
O.com: i didnt like it....
KillaCal: WHAT????HOW??!?!!?
O.com: i just wasnt ready to hear it... deah or yo ass asked me like every 12 hours if i had heard the shit yet or not... and when i finially did listen to it... i felt obligated and forced
KillaCal: from the time the homie popped Speakerboxxx in and the bass started rattling I KNEW they had done it....
KillaCal: LOL!!!
O.com: that shit sounded like a buncha damn noise lol... i wasnt ready for it. i dont really even think i heard it the first time.
O.com: but... being the big ass outkast fan i am... i already knew that i was gonna like it eventually... which is what ended up happening!
KillaCal: Man....I was in a zone....
KillaCal: I loved every single track...still do
KillaCal: I listened to Dre's CD this morning as I took my shower....
O.com: lol you know... everybody is talking about dre cd....
O.com: i dont hear nobody mention big boi cd at ALL
O.com: if they do... its just a oh yea... thas tight too... BUT BACK TO DRE CD!
KillaCal: niggas don't believe in Cupid, but they'll fancy leprechauns!!...can you believe that?
KillaCal: Big Boi's CD is the one you will hear in the cars at Morehouse's homecoming though.....
KillaCal: ATL niggas WILL be bumping it HARD, cuz it has SO much knock...
KillaCal: and 2 years from now it MIGHT, just might be the one that people listen to more often....
O.com: sho nuff!! ask the muthafuckas up stairs when i be bangin that shit... big boi cd has help me to sponser many small earth quakes in north los angeles lol
KillaCal: and you KNOW I was loving Bowtie....LOL...so many people asked me was that my favorite song on that CD...
O.com: lmao gutty shit
KillaCal: I'd just like it to be known that I started this Bowtie shit!
KillaCal: like how Uncle Elroy started that BBQ shit!
O.com: lol nigga...
O.com: this nigga just refuses to awknowledge the WHOLE nation of islam LOL
KillaCal: LMAO....man I saw a dude slanging Bean Pies and Final Calls with a CLIP ON Bowtie...
O.com: ah yea them niggas be rockin the clip ons... that i do know
KillaCal: I almost called the Anti-Defemation League on him!!!
O.com: LMAO
O.com: hell naw...
O.com: but dogg... i think im STILL the only nigga wishing andre would have rapped more on his fuckin cd
KillaCal: NO YOU AREN'T!
O.com: lol
KillaCal: even I wish he woulda spit just a little more...
KillaCal: everyone I know says that...
O.com: now... dont get me wrong... im a lil bit more open minded that people think...
O.com: and i did like his cd... but fuck! that nigga gets busy on the mic... and he just left niggas hangin lol
KillaCal: Dre is a Gemini like us...you KNOW he's gonna go back to what he loves one day....
O.com: lol lets hope....
O.com: ive been known to abandon shit i used to love my self lol
KillaCal: and before you can make a smart ass reference to something...let's move on to the 80's...
O.com: damn!
O.com: fricken bastard!!!

KillaCal: I Love the 80's Strikes Back!!!....right up there with Playmakers!!
O.com: lol hell yea...
O.com: every time i hear the intro to the show i wanna pop lock
KillaCal: LMAO!!....this is like the 8th time this week you've used fricken...are you turning into Dr. Evil before our eyes?
O.com: naw... that nigga dr evil stole fricken from me....
KillaCal: why does the heart have some drips on the edge of it though???
O.com: you know... ive been wondering about that... i thought i was the only nigga that noticed lol
O.com: its tight and all... but... ?
KillaCal: LOL...what is that all about?
O.com: i have no clue....
O.com: lol
KillaCal: I didn't think they could top the first round of the show
KillaCal: but DAMN....they have me Laughing, reminicing, and even a little wistful at times
O.com: what do you mean? i love the 70's?
KillaCal: naaaaaaah...the first round of I Love the 80's...they did it a few months back
O.com: OOOH they changed it up?
KillaCal: kinda...they just found even more things they didn't talk about the first time
O.com: ooooooooohh right right...
KillaCal: last time it was more musically based...and more commercials
O.com: man im loving the fact that they have triumph the insult comic dogg
KillaCal: Triumph is great!!!
KillaCal: FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!
O.com: this nigga said " ... rick james... he always was good with the ladies, he would open then doors for them......... and take off his hat before he burned them with his crack pipe..... "
O.com: i was crying....
KillaCal: Whoever voices Triumph is WAY overdue for an asswhipping though
O.com: lmao hell yea lol
KillaCal: if he had been around in the 80's Mr. T woulda BEEN took care of him!
O.com: LMAO!!!!
O.com: YES!!!
O.com: niggas aint knowing... MR T is FOREAL
KillaCal: Mr. T didn't take no stuff...he was HELLUVA tough!
O.com: he will FOREAL whoop yo ass
O.com: eddie murphy didnt even talk about mr t lol
KillaCal: LOL....SHIIIIIET
KillaCal: yes he did!!!
KillaCal: but he did it "respectfully"
O.com: lol time out... he huh.
O.com: YES!
O.com: he mad it known that he could catch that asswhoopin lol
KillaCal: talking about what if Mr. T was a faggot...LOL
O.com: is that from delerious?
KillaCal: you won't see THAT on I Love the 80's...only on STG folks!!
KillaCal: yeah!
KillaCal: we love the 80's here at STG too!!
O.com: yes yes yes... its coming back to me now... i have that shit on tape....
O.com: LOL hell yea...
O.com: did you see that nigga carrot top when they played that love shack video?
KillaCal: I can't wait for 1984 tonight...that was the year my baby sister Che was born!!!
KillaCal: nah I missed that one...
KillaCal: LOL
KillaCal: Carrot Top is funny as hell, I don't care what anyone says!
O.com: talking about... " whats the quickest way to break up an afganistan bingo game.......... B, 52.... "
KillaCal: LMAO!!!
O.com: lol slow people wont catch that... but i lost my fucking mind!!!
O.com: yea nigga... thats on 89
KillaCal: that's great.....see Carrot Top makes humor for intelligent people (read nerds)
O.com: LOL
O.com: i think it was smart of vh1 to not have any REAL funny comics on this shit... because you can laugh... but not too hard... so you dont miss the other shit during the show
O.com: like they couldnt have put chris rock, bernie mac, or cedric on this shit... half the white people in this country wouldnt have got the joke... and everybody else would have missed a good 3 min of the show
O.com: they got a buncha people who buss a whole lot of one liners... lol you should be on this shit
KillaCal: LOL....
KillaCal: damn....you calling me a lower tier comedian??
O.com: LMAO!!!!!!!!
KillaCal: hell you should be on there too then nigga!!
KillaCal: LOL...this nigga just called me D.C. Curry!
O.com: LMAO!!! LOL LMAO
O.com: hey hey hey... fuck that... dc curry is guttier than niggas know....
KillaCal: LOL...so am I!
O.com: i almost lost my life fuckin with that nigga... watching comic view one day... i damn near sufficated
O.com: LOL ah man that was the guts lmao
KillaCal: LOL....I don't fuck with Comic View man...
O.com: this nigga wants credit for a profession he takes no part in lol...
KillaCal: I'm a comedian!!...just don't too many people know!
KillaCal: Carl Lewis is a comedian too!!
O.com: im talkin about a long time ago... like... the season before he started hosting it... i cant fuck with this new shit
O.com: that nigga carl lewis is a gotdamn retard lol
KillaCal: LOL...anyway man we getting off track...see how mentioning BET can fuck everything up!!...
KillaCal: LOL..back to the 80's...
O.com: LMAO!!!
KillaCal: around 1986 is when I'mma start seeing HELLA shit I remember like it was the first time
O.com: ah man... im just hear for the ride today... i woke up like an hour ago lol
O.com: YES! me too lol i cant wait lol
O.com: its gonna be great....
KillaCal: I need a TiVo or something!!
KillaCal: Anyway man....does Dr. Orange have some letters or something today?
O.com: i have replay tv ( Which is better than tivo ) i just need to pay the bill lol
O.com: i heard he does...
O.com: lets see what the the good doctor orange has for us this go round....

Dear Dr Orange,

I got a big problem. My brother is married to this chick that cheats on him. Just recently, while at lunch, I caught her with the neighborhood carpetmuncher. I\'ve been hearing rumors and so has he. How do I let him know that I caught her without hurting his feelings or getting involved? This shit is really ugly now!

Thanks.

Dear WaterGate,

There is no way in the fuck you are going to be able to drop the bomb that your brothers wife is foreal foreal dykin around with the “neighborhood carpetmucher”... In a nice way... That doesn't hurt his feelings... OR get you involved. The only way this man could possibly be happy about it, is if he thinks he can jump in and get his threesome on! Nobody likes to get cheated on. So he is gonna be pissed when he finds out. And im pretty sure if he has heard rumors... He wants to know! and he wants to know SOON! you need to stop being spineless and have your brothers back! if you happen to see her actually cheating... Then there is really no way you can NOT be involved. Protect your brother! look out for the man... As im sure he would do! You know your brother better than I do... So im pretty sure you have a good idea on how to approach this man with the news. Tell him exactly what you saw... And let him draw his own conclusions. If you just saw the cheater and home wreaker together in the mall talkin and shoppin n shit... Tell him exactly that. Be objective, give her the benefit of the dout even ( if you really arent looking to get involved ) If you saw them getting their dyke on in the bed or some shit... Tell him that. But gotdamn... Stop being a punk! why are you so scared to get involved? Is the girl big or some shit? Will she fuck you up? What in the hell are you scared of? I mean damn... I know nobody likes drama in their life... But hell, sometime life feeds you bullshit and you gotta roll with the punches, this is your family, take care of them like they would do you! Lol fuck that... Don't let that shit ride! Ol girl skeezin around on your brother could put him in a postion to catch a VD or some shit... Then it will be ALL your fault. Because your punk ass actions! if being a punk is ok with you, and you still don't want to get involved... Then honestly the only thing you can HOPE for is that your brother doesn't mention your name when he confronts his wife with the news you brought to him. Now... If the skeezer ( your brothers wife ) knows you know about her infidelity, and youre basiclly the only person that knows... Then youre basiclly assed the fuck out. But how about you DON'T be a punk... For your brothers sake. Damn! if you don't... This problem can only get worse than it already is. And you will only feel worse and worse about it.

O.com: lol... dr orange is the guts nigga.
KillaCal: LOL...why did he call them WaterGate??
O.com: lol because who ever that was had secret information, was probably went on some mission impossible shit to find out if ol girl was cheating or not... i dont know
KillaCal: LOL...that was like a pep talk from Mike Ditka or Mr. T!
KillaCal: LOL...kept calling them a punk!
O.com: LMAO!!!!
KillaCal: but as usual Dr. Orange is right
O.com: hell yea... they was being a punk..
O.com: i agree lol
KillaCal: and as I (did not) promise I cracked the hell up reading it!
O.com: if my sibiling held out on me for so long... id kick they ass
KillaCal: LOL....damn!!
O.com: lol real shit...
O.com: but yea... thats our show....
KillaCal: Let us know what you want to see us talk about....
O.com: lol we are gonna have to do shows more often dogg lol... we be leavin the poeple hangin lol
O.com: yea... keep the fan mail coming...
KillaCal: yeah...they don't realize they are dealing with the two laziest men on each side of the Mississippi
O.com: pretty soon we are gonna announce who are guest host will be...
O.com: lol you know?
KillaCal: LOL....I am gonna give WHOEVER our guest host is HELL!
KillaCal: I will be like Bobby Knight!
O.com: LMAO!!!
O.com: this nigga is the guts today... gotdamn lol
KillaCal: oops...
KillaCal: I mean I'm going to be extra nice....
O.com: lol we should pick up that easy target... lol that would be too fun lol
KillaCal: LOL....we're kidding people....keep the requests coming...and tell some friends about us here at Shootin the Gift!
O.com: yea... what that nigga said.
O.com: and im gone....
KillaCal: peace two fingers!

Posted by O.com at October 22, 2003 02:58 PM