So I put a pizza in the oven right...
Why the oven catch fire?
I was sittin up online, all of a sudden, it gets dark in the apt. I go, hm, thats odd.. I look up and black smoke was filling the place. Somehow, the oven and everything in it catches fire. I thought I had left the cardboard on the bottom of the pizza, but that wasnt the case. But I opened all the windows and stood outside til the cops came, then the fire dept came n cut the gas off.
Like I need MORE attention paid to my apt.
Wasn't much damage outside of the stove, so that was a good thing...
Sometimes I think I put too much pressure on myself. Or maybe, in the long run, its not enough.
Sometimes I feel alone in this. I know you are born alone, and usually, people die alone, and its nice to know that there are people feeling what you're going through, especially if they are peers too.
But what if you are the only one in your family?
Now I kind of understand what those kids that are the first ones in their families to go to college go through. Not totally, since that isn't quite my situation, but I'm feeling it.
I mean in my generation of my family, its like I am the only one with a legitimate shot of doing something great. My moms didn't have anymore children, but I grew up with a group of 5 cousins (all 2nd). I am the oldest by 7 months, then there's V., S. and D. (5 yrs from me), N. (6) and J. (9). N. is the only girl.
It's so funny how things can happen so fast. In a span of 4 years, I lost D. to 5 bullets in the back. He was 20. Then last year I lost S. in jail to stomach cancer. He was 23. N. has at least 2 kids and is like 100 hours from a Cosmetology license. V. is marrying some woman with 13 (yes I said 13) kids. Add those to the 3 by 3 different baby-mommas. And J. is just about to turn 20 next week, so he still has a shot, but he a daddy now too.
Which leaves yours truly, struggling to get a bachelors while fighting eviction, probation and unemployment. That must be a formual for success, as I am working on my first 4.0 semester ever.
I guess the best way to deal with it is to think about how proud they would be if I did make it. Kinda like Mike when his trainer died, but he still went on to become the youngest heavyweight champion ever. (No, there won't be Tyson references in every post, but in some... )
Mkay, I'm goin to bed...
<i>The road to Bolivion is paved with broken relationships... </i>
Welp...
Today I was in chat for a few minutes and a debate sprung up from nowhere about men and the stupid things they do to attract women. The brotha was saying how sistas now want someone with the clothes, the money, the tight whip with tha rims in order for you to even step to them, and the brothas run out and do these things just to get the attention of these, um, women.
To an extent, I agree. You think good ole Mike got to Robin Givens on charm and good looks?
But one brotha then made the point saying that why can't he just wear Jordans, sport 22" inch rims on his car, and dress nice because he just likes to do these things and not impress a bunch of females? The other brothas dismissed this as pure fiction.
Now, Max says, I don't give a damn about impressing a woman in that way, which explains my few and far between dates in Los Angeles, partly, but I dont care. Out here, negores (men and women) get 'dressed' to go everywhere, the grocery store, the laundromat, and for me it is not that serious. I have a nice size fro, and will leave the house with it uncombed to go to the liquor store. It's not that serious. When I had a car it had no rims. I think rims are unecessary, as the value of the car only raises by the price of the rims, which is usually too much for somethin just to look pretty.
But yeah, forget impressing females in that way...
Welcome to my trip to Bolivion. So far, only me and Mike Tyson are going, but with a little luck and determination, you will all come with us...
Strap down, it's gonna be a bumpy ride...